Wonderboy: Boy of Wonder (My superhero story written last year)

Wonderboy: Boy of Wonder
by Sean Richards


Down in the hard streets of ATX, a lot of bad stuff happens, and sometimes it gets out of hand. When this happens, what’s a city gonna do? That’s when Wonderboy shows up.

Who is Wonderboy you ask? Well not too many people know, but he’s one cool funky dude. He has many powers that enable him to whoop some serious booty. One of them is to fly, another is his lightening speed, and he has telekinesis. He’s the eighth wonder of the world (Carlos thinks that there are eight to start with, but we all know Carlos has his issues, so we’re not going to listen to him). Basically, Wonderboy is so good, that Jack Black himself wrote a song about him.
Now in being a superhero, he always has an evil nemesis. This time he had to start off by facing Barto and his Dirty Vatos. Barto is one of the dirtiest, badest Sanchez you’ll ever meet. With his Vatos he takes over single schools at a time with his uncanny ability to set things on fire. This time he was trying to take over Bailey, and he would have been successful if it weren’t for Wonderboy.

Disguised as a janitor, Barto managed not only to gain access to the school but to befriend and deceive a good innocent man named Jerry. He too was a janitor.
One day Barto went into the office in order to find out the secret identity of Wonderboy. When all the sudden a hall monitor named Mr. Mathews tried to stop him, Barto sent a wave of heat towards Mathews and knocked him out. Jerry couldn’t believe his eyes, but none the less he sent an S.O.S. sign big enough to be seen from the clouds. That’s when Wonderboy saw it. Immediately he flew to Bailey only to find that the school was now heavily guarded by the Dirty Vatos. So using his amazing stealth and lightening speed, he managed to get inside, only having to take out one of the Vatos.

When he saw Barto, the office had already been engulfed with flames. So Wonderboy thought fast and using a combination of speed and telekinesis, he managed to quiet the fire, but now he got Barto’s attention. Wonderboy noticed the innocent men Mr. Mathews and Jerry knocked on the floor, so out of anger Wonderboy went and kicked a little Chihuahua named Pepe that Barto had with him. Barto loved that dog, so out of anger began shooting huge blasts of fire towards our young hero. As fast as they were, Wonderboy was too quick, and he was so quick that he managed to sneak up behind Barto and poor a bucket of water on the dirty Sanchez, for it was Barto’s dirtiness that gave him power and he couldn’t stand to be clean. Barto’s only response was “Hey you stupid little white boy, what did you do that for?!?”

Now Wonderboy being a man of little words simply responded with “Because, you smell like Taco Bell.”

With that Wonderboy put Barto in a garbage bag and threw him in the dumpster, taking out the trash.

Just when everything was going good, one of Wonderboy’s worst enemies stepped out of the shadows. It was none other than the notorious Dr. Nazi, the worst German bad guy since Hitler. Dr. Nazi had super strength, laser vision, and the ability to eat strudel while shaving in the mirror. There was no doubt that Dr. Nazi was one of Barto’s allies. He too hated Wonderboy.

“Shnell! Shnell! It is Vonderboy! Come boys, ve must finish this fool! Quickly, kill him!” Then he started saying words in German not suitable to listen to.

So with that, Dr. Nazi and his little band of Hitler Youth, as well as what was left of the Vatos, began shooting at Wonderboy. The Nazis saying things in German like “Hogga noga heeganoff!” (Which probably roughly means “shoot him, shoot the white guy that’s American”?)
And the Vatos saying “Pick up your gats and ice this fool. Hurry up and cap him!” (Now since I don’t speak Gangster, I’m not too sure what that means. But Carlos here tells me it means “kill him”)

Now Wonderboy was outnumbered 100 to one. But that was no problem, after all his name is Wonderboy. So he used is super speed to get out of the way and used his telekinesis to make all the bullets go back into the gun that fired it and explode the chamber. Then he called for Mr. Johlke who came out and busted up all the Nazis and Vatos, but this story is not about him.
In the midst of all the chaos, Dr. Nazi ran out into those ever so cold suburban streets of Shady Hollow. But that was no problem for Wonderboy who flew right up behind him and dropped kick him to Utah.

When Wonderboy returned, he was greeted by the applause and cheers of the whole school that had been held captive. As for the Nazis and Vatos, they served their restitution. The Nazis went on the change their customs from Jew haters to Amish body builders, and the Vatos changed their names to the Compadres, while attending Harvard and starting up the most successful lawn mowing service ever, if I may add; in this proving that not just white people can go to Harvard. Now for Barto, he turned from his evil ways and kept his full time job as a janitor. Dr. Nazi eventually converted to Mormon and now owns a chain of hotdog stands in greater Utah.

Yes, good had been done this day all thanks to the heroics of Wonderboy. But before anyone could thank him he flew up into the sky until the next time tyranny would dare to show its face.